I will support my baby whether he decides to be there for her or not. I carry the full load, run all the errands and take time off work to do these things and deal with all the behavior issues that stems from not having a father around. What a joke! And when I do see her, she cries. He wishes he could be there more if they would allow it. can you say huge mother bias). … Now my case is probably somewhat routine. I am a single mother of two. How can you even hurt someone who hurt me so much that my misery and pain makes them feel better and even better about themselves? After all this time I finally filed for child support. Under the Child Support Enforcement Act of 1984, it is against the law for any father, presumed or assumed, to not pay court ordered child support to the custodial guardian, regardless of joint custody. As a result of these attacks, I've lost my ability to cross the border. I don't know what the outcomes will be, but I hope the court is just. When they were infants, their father told me if I wanted him to help financially, I should go down to child support and I did. By the time the Family Court gets around to lowering his support to be based on his income, he has already suffered a gas and electric shut off, an eviction notice, late fees and over the limit fees, not to mention arrears (with interest added on), that he can never catch up, and might as well go to jail or kill himself. When we were married we bought a house together. I do not get any joy out of knowing that my child's father could be arrested at any moment because he is thousands of dollars in the rears for owed child support. I'm now 30, married with a child on the way. I'm talking about the egregious cases, the ones where it's obvious the non-custodial parent is intentionally evading support. I still have a 15 year old daughter still at home. Do I want my child support arrears? He is now depressed. We need a child system reform because, for some odd reason, we force kids to go through over 13 years of school to fix a toilet, yet the most important job around, being a parent, requires nothing but a little luck and puberty. He was paying her $600 a month for child support and she was letting him see his child for 15 minutes a month. If i file now will we be back paid for the past seven years. Financially, I am just keeping myself and daughter above water. She has not given a penny for the care of these kids. Unless you all are deadbeat dads yourselves? If a child is not wanted then one should not participate in the act of sex. I am struggling. They also are basing it on an income as a highway driver at $50,000 per year. We need the money to support our kids, to make sure our kids have food, clothes and other stuff. My son decided to stay with his dad, which broke my heart, so I decided to stay and try get him back as I live in a two bedroom flat I cannot have him here till I get a three bedroom house. Even if your child’s other parent agrees to allow you to skip some child support payments or pay less than you are ordered, be aware that they can always go back and declare that you are in contempt of court. Being a single mother myself, who has never received one dime of child support in my child's 16 years of life, and presently being in a relationship of five years where I have watched my fiance be raped of every dime he earns, yes, I can feel sorry for the noncustodial father, because I have seen both sides. He didn't qualify for unemployment either, so he got food stamps and researched a scheme to avoid paying child support. He is now asking me to pay for plane tickets for our son to visit. He had a son from a past relationship that was all a joke. Some parents, however, refuse to pay child support for their children even when ordered to do so by a court. I realized that he was the one who was the loser in this life and while it took all my money and time, it gave me and my children a life bigger and more fulfilled then he will ever realize! We are in real estate, though and the last three years have been very tough for us to pay what he was paying before his ex decided to take us to court. I'm going to make him lose his house. I have found myself going to food pantries and government agencies for help just to get by, but still can't make ends meet. It is too clear that we are in trouble. My boyfriend is a father of a little girl and pays child support to the mother. Now, you might not realize this, but whether you are still married to your child's/ children's mother/father or divorced from them you are still a parent. All they want to be is kids. i want to see my son! That is why I work. etc. As for me, I don't need his money, but it helps with my sons needs. Just my opinion! Just another stupid dopehead. it's not a matter of who is first. This leaflet explains the actions the Child Maintenance Service can take to collect child maintenance if the paying parent doesn’t pay, including legal action. If a woman leaves her husband then she left because she wanted to, so why should he give her child support, if he has the children two weeks of the month. I foolishly thought it would be good for the kids. Both parents pay so much, non-custodial, or sole. I am far from able to buy new clothes or shoes for myself, but I always make sure my kids have everything they need or want. Months ago however, he went to court to have the child support lowered because he lost his job, but the judge refused. It's not fair that I might have to put the kids back in school so I can get a job, when my ex should be paying as well. They asked me if she was half asleep when she calls or what. They never took it to court ever so they basically left everything to what they agree upon (what she wants). The father has a job and shares rent with others only paying $300 a month. They are out for themselves and not for the children. I'm just poor and I still believe someone out there my help us all who watches us while we're in so much despair. Something is very, very wrong when a person faces more consequences for failure to pay a parking ticket than failure to pay child support. I still get steamed when I think about one of her posts from the second year: "Bored today...should I go to the beach, or go shopping in Hollywood?" Later on, of course I gave him another chance to be in my son' life. My son understands it better that way and knows it is better without him. My son is my world and my life. Eventually, I got my daughter but not after a ton of psychological damage had been done to her by her mom, who was thought to be the better parent by default. I had also discovered that she and her friend were setting me up for a fall by playing Games with the Children's Aid and police service. He offered me all of his business equipment in mediation last Thursday, and on Friday morning he reported it all stolen. OK first off, for someone to say that women who seek child support are just lazy, don't want to work and are looking for a way to make the "father" pay, that could not be any further from the truth! All of this wouldn’t bother me at all, actually, if the man (and I use the term loosely) even bothered to call the kids once in a while, but alas, he’s too busy going to concerts and bailing his unemployed girlfriend out of jail to bother. I love my uncle to death; but I still think it's selfish to take care of yourself and not your children. Sometimes the hate needs to be put aside. What was he supposed to do besides wait for the courts to figure out custody? Support is not always fair or right. There are lots of "good men" who are deadbeats. Where is God and his mercy on us and where is our Savior who is compassionate and forgiving and knowing all but allows so much suffering? I have a son and a daughter. I've almost lost my faith in the Lord because he sits and watches this all. I am not a gold digger; I just want what is mine. Whatever the court issues you to pay is fair. The second baby is also human and needs support too, since they are the youngest and need more attention than the first ones saying that legal wives should suck it up? I'm sure it would be a different story then. No way. Since the order he has not paid one penny at all and his family, including his mother. He didn't make sure we had anything. Yeah, it hurts, but what can i do? 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